04.28.2011 02:26 PM

Just move in! Zombie-proofed house

As any regulars know, I am (a) er, deathly afraid of zombies and (b) constantly evaluating my surroundings to ensure they are adequately zombie-proofed.

In the coming (and inevitable) undead apocalypse, I do not plan to be unprepared.  Thus, this domicile, which I now intend to purchase.

This link comes from my colleague Rob, by the way, who may take up residence there after next Monday’s vote, but for non-zombie-related reasons.

Home sweet zombie-free home.

47 Comments

  1. Let’s refer to your Venn Diagram about zombies and other characters: http://warrenkinsella.com/2011/03/best-chart-ever/

  2. Nastyboy says:

    As long as you have an emergency escape route. If movies teach us anything, zombies will always find a way to get in.

  3. Ted (not the other one) says:

    Target practice is part of good preparedness.

    http://www.zombietargets.net

  4. DaveinMapleRidge says:

    Has a nice post apocalyptic feel to it. Helicopters are a welcome feature … might help with those feelings of claustrophobia.

  5. WesternGrit says:

    Door knocking across the West, I’ve always been struck by how peculiar many hard-core Reform-a-tory homes are… and how they resemble your image.

    Even last night in Vancouver South, I came across a home that looked very plain, with tall chain link fence, “no solicitation” and “guard dog on duty” signs. Windows were all shuttered/blinded, and the dull grey color really looked like that above.

    We knocked it anyway – and got told (rudely) to leave. All I needed to see was the copy of “Guns & Ammo” in the mailbox!

    • Lawrence Barry says:

      Ahhhh – its called a GROW-OP and I kinda doubt they’re “Reform a tory” or will be botherin’ to go out on Monday either.

  6. kyliep says:

    Brains….brains….

  7. The Doctor says:

    Warren, I assume you saw the movie Zombieland, then. Aside from being great entertainment, it doubles as an excellent survival guide for a zombie infestation, invasion and/or takeover.

  8. johnny was says:

    If you’re a survivalist on a more modest budget, a solid zombie-preparedness initiative would be moving to a city with a citadel, like Halifax or Quebec. The closer to the citadel the better; I’ve got a 750m sprint up South Park St., which isn’t bad. I’d hate to think that only the super rich will survive the coming apocalypse.

    • The Doctor says:

      Ahh yes, Mont Royal might do as well. Perhaps also the lodge on Grouse Mountain.

      • Lord Kitchener says:

        what will you do when you run out of food and water? run the ascent with hundreds of zombies chasing you? you make the mistake in presuming they are slow and the zombie occupation will be short lived.

    • Nastyboy says:

      The only problem with that is, everyone else is thinking the same thing. There will be infighting and violence among the group inside, as well as from others trying to get in as well as the zombies. Might work in the short term. Long term…hello biker scene from Dawn of the Dead. Smaller groups in remote locations are the way to go. Cities will be a blood bath.

      And yes….I think about this way too much.

  9. R says:

    Are you sure you feel fine and not facing delusion of seeing zambi and need to hide
    because liberal are lossing number

    You do not need to be shy or hid just need find solution and

    bad thing about liberal and conservative are not listening and narrow minded to what they like to hear and earse other
    they may not understand it
    that reason ndp get more likeable charcter because they listen even not follow what they listening

  10. Mike_02 says:

    From the Conservative website:

    “The [Perimeter Security and Economic Competitiveness Shared Vision] Declaration will focus on four areas of cooperation: addressing [zombie] threats early; trade facilitation, economic growth and jobs; integrated cross-border law enforcement; and critical infrastructure and cyber security [to catch zombies before they catch us].”

    So you can relax.

  11. Eenusch says:

    Hopefully, the house is not near the Harvard campus, where Iggy will be returning shortly.

  12. That’s it, Warren – I’m mailing you a copy of my zombie apocalypse novel that only the ghost of WLM King can stop. He saves Calgary despite it being a Liberal wasteland. Now THAT’S leadership baby.

  13. Craig Chamberlain says:

    Just get a cabin in the mountains. Too much work for zombies to walk around out there.

    • The Doctor says:

      Well, I don’t know about that. Consider the first two Evil Dead movies. How did that cabin in the mountains work out for them?

      OK, I realize they weren’t technically zombies (they were Calderian demons), but the demons were essentially zombiesque . . .

      • Craig Chamberlain says:

        Ah, OK — I’m no expert on zombies. I suppose you could keep a good axe on the ready. But really, wouldn’t the bears and cougars take care of the odd zombie stumbling around out there? Still can’t see zombies climbing around uneven terrain and ducking through brush, etc. Besides. the fresh air and exercise would do them some good.

        Or. what about a house boat?

  14. Harvey Martin says:

    Are you sure that isn’t the future Harper home? You know, after his party turns on him. All the property lacks is a large “KEEP OFF THE GRASS!!” sign.

  15. MontrealElite says:

    More Sun BS

    http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/video/922854476001

    Jan 12, 2010

    Ignatieff blasts Harper on proroguing but backs off budget showdown
    Published Tuesday January 12th, 2010

    http://www.canadaeast.com/news/article/917809

  16. Darren K says:

    We’ll have to get together. I have a large collection of Zombie movies (documentaries). I know how to save us!

    Monday:
    Liberals: 105
    Tories:125
    NDP: 65
    Bloc: 12
    Ind: 1

    That’s what we think here at the K family

  17. Brad says:

    We have had the walking dead for some time now, the lead zombie is easy to spot, he wears a Canada jacket and his eye glasses are about 3 sizes to small.

    That shelter is no good, they’ll blast thru it with attack ads in no time at all.

  18. Brammer says:

    Ummm… nothing to do with Zombies, but this is something Warren could relate to: “From punk rocker to Mayor of…..”

    http://www.spiegel.de/international/europe/0,1518,759333,00.html

  19. Political Outsider says:

    Canada: Liberal Zombie Haven?

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSYdqOy3-UE

  20. Look,

    I like drinking beer, I’d like to drink a beer with Jack, hell I’d drink a with just about anybody, even Iggy.

    I think I speak for 70% of Canadians when I say most of them shouldn’t be PM of Canada.

    Jack belongs in the group that shouldn’t. I like the idea of a stiff accountant managing my money.

    • Stuart says:

      Give Jack a chance. It’s not like he can screw it up any worse than Harper has. What’s he going to do, blow $35 billion on jets or prorogue parliament and throw a tantrum whenever he can’t get his way?

      And in the meantime we can have legalised pot, a ban on net throttling and usage-based billing for the Internet, something other than a rubber stamped made-in-the-USA copyright law, and an ombudsman to prevent price fixing at gas stations. And god help us, we might actually start to make progress on this climate issue!

      The only thing in their platform I’m not sure about is abolishing the senate… I won’t be sad to see the likes of Mike Duffy gone, but I think there is a lot of political knowledge there in people like Grant Mitchell that this nation needs to keep as a resource even if they aren’t used to rubber-stamping bills.

  21. JH says:

    Libby Davis – Minister of Foreign Affairs. A zombie in disguise?
    How does that sit with you all?

  22. Thegrumpydwarf says:

    my wife made me….MADE ME…remove security bars from our basement windows despite my reasonable and rational arguments about the level of protection that they would have afforded us from the undead horde.

    I am now going to show her this and let her know what her other option is…

    Thanks for this Warren.

    • Warren says:

      You can move into my fortress when she throws you out, brother.

      • Jon Powers says:

        Warren,
        In all honesty, I’ve never really warmed up to you due to your Liberal leanings. But…now that I see you share my overwhelming fear of zombies I’ve come to the conclusion that you must be alright. My question – how is it possible that the inevitable zombie infestation has not become an election issue??? Which leader is best prepared to lead us through this apocalypse? Sorry, but I just can’t picture Ignatieff swinging a chainsaw with one hand, and a trench spike in the other. Elizabeth May, definitely.

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