With the world ending in a week or so, it’s time to take stock of things.
Because it is, in fact, ending. Ask my son. He’s in the middle of exams, and he has no doubts whatsoever about the imminent Apocalypse.
“Dad, there’s no point in me writing any exams. The world is ending on Dec. 21. Check out the Mayan calendar.”
Dec. 21, 2012, as you perhaps know, marks the end of a 5,000-year Mayan calendar cycle.
According to the now-departed tall foreheads in that ancient Mayan culture, the cycle that commenced in 3114 B.C. will conclude on Friday, the day the world ends.
You may laugh, but lots of folks have set up Doomsday Clubs to mark the occasion, thereby providing themselves with an excellent opportunity to party hearty.
Five countries — Mexico, Belize, Guatemala, El Salvador and Honduras — plan festivities to mark the End Time, too.
So, it’s ending.
Nice knowing you, etc.
As such, it is time to reflect on what will be missed, politically, and what won’t.
Politicians and political stuff we’ll miss:
Um. Well, that part was easy. But what about things we won’t miss so much?
That list is longer.
- The Harper government. They didn’t see the global recession coming, and they denied it when it arrived. They got us into a structural deficit.
They promised accountability, but have been more secretive than the Star Chamber.
They promised ethics, then later pleaded guilty to breaking election laws — and are back in Federal Court this week on charges they cheated in six ridings in 2011’s election.
They are arrogant, thuggish and increasingly unpopular. They are a Biblical pestilence. They won’t be missed.
- Jason Kenney. He detests multiculturalism, quite a few immigrants and an impressive number of his fellow citizens, too.
He says fellow Tories are “dishonest and hypocritical” for participating in a parliamentary pension plan, then spent $750,000 monitoring himself in ethnic media.
He called Serbian ethnic cleansing “modest,” albeit compared to Saddam’s genocide in Iraq.
He compares legal abortions “child abuse” and “slavery.”
He says Sikhs can get “overheated” and “use the race card.”
Buh-bye, Jason. See you on the other side — or not.
- Bev Oda. She spent $5,500 to take limousines to the Juno Awards. Later, she was caught spending another $15,000 on limos. She was facing a parliamentary inquiry for altering a government document.
She spent $665 a night at a swank London hotel, and bought orange juice at $16 a glass. Gone, but not forgotten. Not forgiven, either.
- The F-35 fighter jets. Michael Ignatieff warned them, but they didn’t listen. He said the nearly $50 billion price tag was a waste of taxpayers’ money and the sole-sourcing was a mistake. The former Liberal leader said he’d cancel the purchase; the Cons insisted they wouldn’t. They’ve now cancelled it. Hasta la vista, F-35s.
- The goddamn “Action Plan” ads. Newsflash! The recession ended. Despite that, the Conservatives continue to spend more than
$55 million on government propaganda, mostly in the form of those ubiquitous campaign-style “Action Plan” TV spots. Harper promised to spend less on government advertising. He didn’t. A disgrace.
- The Senate. It’s an unelected, anti-democratic abomination. Harper once famously said “the upper house remains a dumping ground for the favoured cronies of the prime minister,” and he seemed to mean it. Now he’s turned it into “a dumping ground for favoured cronies,” of, er, him. Shame.
We could go on — Sen. Patrick Brazeau, listeria and tainted beef, Bruce Carson, robocalls — but we’ve run out of room.
Run out of time, too, apparently.
But I remind my son: Exams are still on.
Get back to the books.