, 10.14.2017 12:46 PM

The Kinsellian Political Rules™

So, I tweeted about Donald Trump’s fired Chief of Staff being interviewed by Robert Mueller, the Russiagate special counsel. I said it recalls the Kinsellian Political Rule Two: never fire someone who knows lots of shit during a crisis. 

This then moved some folks to ask what Rule One was, and so on.

So here, gratis, are all ten. Clip, save and post to the war room fridge door. You’re welcome. 

KINSELLIAN POLITICAL RULES

1. Never discount the possibility that they did it because they’re just stupid. 

2. Never fire someone who knows lots of stuff about you during a crisis. 

3. Never call the other guy a crook, because normal people think we are all crooks. 

4. Never forget, never forgive. Forgiveness is for wimps, and forgetfulness is for the aged. 

5. Never fly first class. Fly economy and take a selfie. 

6. Never take a job with a politician who is screwing around. If he’ll do that to his wife, he’ll do worse to you. 

7. Never use acronyms. If you do, you should go hang yourself. 

8. Never be photographed when golfing, eating or doing shooters. 

9. Never talk about your relationship with God. Just don’t. God fucking hates politicians. A politician killed His son. 

10. Never get involved in party politics. It always ends in indictments or misery. 

8 Comments

  1. John Birke says:

    What is number 11?

  2. John Birke says:

    And #11 is…..

  3. Don Johnson says:

    Warren, I am on the opposite side of the aisle but I was impressed once about seven years ago by Michael Ignatieff. I know our side painted him as the “just visiting” royalty, but I was on a plane from Calgary to Edmonton and there he was, flying Westjet with the rest of us nobs. Didn’t seem to have an entourage either.

  4. Bill Templeman says:

    How many of Warren’s 10 Rules did Michael Ignatieff break? #2 & #3 at least? Also, he assumed that street politics is the same as political science seminars. And that he didn’t have to practice. Met him once, while he was still on his way up. He didn’t like meeting people. A crucial flaw for a politician?

  5. Steve T says:

    Good advice for politics, perhaps, but not all of these are things I’d want to teach my children. In particular, “never forgive”. Much of the world’s problems these days are due to people who are fighting some long-ago grievance, who have been told by their parents and mentors to “never forgive”. Sometimes its easier to hold a grudge than to consider thoughtfully the complexities of a past situation, or that people (all people) make mistakes.

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