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Warning: Reckless, feckless predictions ahead. Buckle up, readers.

A year ago, 2021 was supposed to be the cure for 2020. Remember that?

Now, 2022 is supposed to be the cure for 2021. Will it be?

Well, those of us in the predictions business have learned — the hard way — that things that haven’t happened may, um, never happen. The future is indeed unwritten, as Joe Strummer of the Clash liked to say.

But here’s some predictions anyway. If I’m wrong, I’m counting on all of you to gather around my stool at the Midtown Brewery in Prince Edward County and remind me. I’ll buy.

Justin Trudeau: He’s gone into the witness protection program since the election, and his Liberal Party is accordingly up in the polls. That should tell Liberals — even him, the ostensibly top Liberal — something. Assorted ambitious Grits are pawing the dirt, waiting for the starting gun. But, to mix metaphors, will Trudeau go for the proverbial walk in the snow in 2022? My hunch: No. Every leader prefers to leave on a high — and, until the pandemic fades from memory, Justin is staying put. He wants to be remembered for sunshine, lollipops and sunny ways — none of which have been in abundance, lately. (Besides, those of us in the columnizing business want him to stay. He’s the worst prime minister in memory, and he gives us stuff to write about.)

Erin O’Toole: The Conservative Party doesn’t know what it is, it doesn’t know what it wants, and it doesn’t know where it’s going. As such, O’Toole is the perfect Tory leader: He doesn’t know any of those things, either. O’Toole arguably isn’t human: He’s a colour, beige. He belongs on a wall in a government waiting room, not in Parliament. What does he believe in? What does he care about? Who knows. This is seen in O’Toole’s tendency to have multiple positions on single issues. Carbon taxes, assault weapons, abortion, gay marriage, vaccinations: On the stuff that matters, O’Toole is in tatters. That said, he’s unlikely to be jettisoned by his party before the next election: As noted, Tories don’t know what they want or need, and — until they do — he’s safe at Stornoway. Doing whatever it is he does.

Jagmeet Singh: With the notable exception of Tom Mulcair — who, while a dislikable rageaholic, arguably deserved a second chance — New Democrats are enthusiastic about losing. It comforts them, like an old blanket, because it is all they have known. Case in point, Singh’s former boss at Queen’s Park in Ontario, whatsername. She’s decisively lost three (3) elections in a row, and her party still sticks with her. That’s good news for Singh, who is the part-time federal New Democratic Party leader, but the full-time enabler of Justin Trudeau’s every legislative desire. It’s the best job Singh’s ever had: He’s not going anywhere anytime soon, either.

The Damned Virus: I was talking to a psychiatrist friend, recently, to ascertain what people were feeling about the Omicron variant and what it has done to the holiday season. “They’re pissed off,” said he, using expert psychiatrist terminology. “They believed in vaccines, they played by the rules, and they feel angry and depressed that things are worse than ever before.” All that is true, but this writer verily believes this is true, too: For COVID-19, Omicron is good news and bad news. It’s good for COVID because it is so wildly infectious. But it’s bad for the pandemic, too, because Omicron may signal that COVID is mutating itself out of existence. As my smart health-care politico pal Dan Carbin told me this week: “This has been the end game (all) along. Viral mutation to an infectious, but mild, virus. Like the other four endemic coronaviruses, all of which likely killed a lot of people when first introduced. The last was likely the flu of the 1889-91, which killed one million. And is now a cold.”

That’s my big — and, as it turns out, only happy — prediction for 2022: COVID is always going to be with us, like its bastard siblings, the flu and the common cold. But it is not going to upend our lives as much as it did in 2020 and 2021.

That’s my big prediction. And if I’m wrong, come find me on my stool at the Midtown.

But don’t forget your mask and vaccination passport!

— Warren Kinsella was Chief of Staff to a federal Liberal Minister of Health.

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In political life, certain things are predictable.

Predictable things include: elections. Also: votes. And: speeches. Almost always: scandals.

Out here in the real world, there are predictable things, as well. There are too many to list.

But ever since Jesus was a little fella (literally), people have gathered to celebrate Christmas. And: Hanukkah. And: Kwanza. And: Festivus.

It’s predictable. At this time of year, people want to get together more than any other time of year. You can set your watch by it. (Again, literally.)

During a deadly global pandemic, with a Satanic variant disrupting countless lives, it’s hard to predict stuff (eg. Omicron). But people wanting to see friends and family in the month of December?

Has your family’s Christmas been impacted because someone has, or is suspected of having, COVID?

That’s as predictable as you can get. Which, ipso facto, raises one question, now being raised on many lips:

Why weren’t governments better prepared?

Because, let’s face it, they weren’t.

This year, Santa wasn’t being lobbied for Cabbage Patch Kids, Furbys, Tickle Me Elmos, or Nintendo Entertainment Systems.

Nope: this year’s must-have Yuletide item was a rapid antigen test. That’s what we all wanted under the tree, this year.

But forget finding one, particularly if you live in British Columbia, Alberta, Ontario or Quebec. In those provinces, rapid antigen tests — the quickie COVID-19 tests that you can do on your own — were harder to find than toilet paper in a pandemic.

It’s not like Canadian governments didn’t have them, either. The federal government claimed it had sent 80 million tests to the provinces. The provinces, meanwhile, issued lots of statements insisting the feds had delayed or bungled distributing the tests.

Ontario, for one, said it had distributed 50 million of the tests throughout the province — including, incredibly, at liquor stores — but good luck finding anyone who actually got one. First Nations communities in Northern Ontario reported having to drive 400-plus kilometres to find a test, maybe, in far-away Thunder Bay.

Quebec witnessed massive lineups at pharmacies. In Alberta, people reported visiting multiple distribution sites, none of which had any left. Nova Scotia ran out.

In B.C., the government withheld tests, targeting places with COVID outbreaks, and wasted precious time breaking packages of tests into smaller kits.

It was no surprise, then, that rapid antigen tests starting popping up on Amazon and eBay, where scumbags were charging — and getting — hundreds of dollars for tests they’d earlier obtained for free.

The Angus Reid Institute did a poll about it all, and found two-thirds of Canadians wanted the tests free and universal. And more than a quarter of the country said they wanted to find a rapid test. But couldn’t.

Not surprisingly, about half of the poll’s respondents said their province had done a poor job distributing the tests.

(This writer’s personal favourite, however, was Manitoba: the geniuses running that province decided to distribute KN95 masks — another hot item in the 2021 holiday season — at liquor stores and casinos. Winners: slots-addicted alcoholics! Losers: Manitoba children!)

It’s right there on the calendar, Canadian political folks: December. We have an abundance of holidays in that month, when people want to — need to — get together with loved ones.

And you screwed that up — with test kits, with masks, with boosters.

All of this was predictable, Canadian governments. And your failure is therefore unforgivable.

Enjoy the coal you’ll be getting in your stockings.

— Kinsella was Chief of Staff to a federal Liberal Minister of Health

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Thank you, Santa! ⁦@Puglaas⁩ ⁦@chixdiggit⁩ ⁦@TheClash⁩ ⁦@IggyPop⁩ ⁦@RealBlackUhuru⁩ ⁦@PublicEnemyFTP⁩ ⁦@emmakinsella95⁩ ⁦@Jake__kinsella⁩ ⁦@kinsuela99⁩ @suzanneamos63 pic.twitter.com/ax5PnwHfgW

— Warren Kinsella (@kinsellawarren) December 25, 2021

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My Christmas wish for all of you. pic.twitter.com/z7aa0VrC3B

— Warren Kinsella (@kinsellawarren) December 24, 2021

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Ah, 2021.

Like its immediate predecessor, the unlamented 2020, this year has been a real bastard.

Just when you think some degree of normalcy may return — just when you begin to hope that maybe, just maybe, things are going to get a tiny bit better — the merciless and relentless monster that is the virus throws us another curveball.

A happier Christmas at the tail end of 2021? Dream on. Choke on some Omicron, losers.

Oh, and here’s some extra Justin Trudeau, for dessert.

Misery loves company, goes the cliche, but the misery visited upon us by COVID isn’t in any way alleviated by the fact that all of us are experiencing it. We’re all kind of miserable, nowadays, and wondering if we are going to go through the entire Greek alphabet, naming the latest iteration of the virus. For years.

Well, not all is lost. Amidst the the death and destruction and despair, there are some tiny, shining lights. Like diamonds in the proverbial rough, or wheat in the chaff. Or whatever.

Last time out, we chronicled the losersof the year — in Canada, essentially our entire federal political class. This time, here’s some winners — the ones who, often unnoticed, are making our collective existence a bit better. A bit easier to hold onto.

Kudos to them, and to all!

Laurie Garrett, Journalist. Did you know there is a person who predicted everything we are going through, almost two decades ago? Did you know that she wrote a book called “The Coming Plague” that saw all of this coming and — like Cassandra, the prophet of Greek mythology — was kind of ignored? Well, not entirely.

American journalist Garrett won a Pulitzer Prize for her writings about epidemics and pandemics. But Garrett foresaw all of the current pandemic — although maybe not the name of it or Donald Trump (and who could’ve foreseen him, who Garrett correctly terms a “foolhardy buffoon”).

Having foretold exactly what happened to us, what does Garrett now say about the future? One, we will never go back to what was “normal” before. 9/11 changed everything, she says. COVID will, too. Two, the battle will go on for three years, minimum — and we haven’t even hit year two, yet. Three, the virus will never go away unless all of us are vaccinated — not just us solipsistic types outside the developing world. If all of us aren’t protected, then none of us are protected.

Anthony Fauci, Doctor. When the aforementioned foolhardy buffoon, a.k.a. Trump, is saying COVID will go away in the Spring of 2020 — and when he is counselling people to inject themselves with bleach, to kill the virus that didn’t go away — how does one keep one’s cool? Anthony Fauci, somehow, did. Must’ve been the Jesuitical education (which, um, this writer shares). The Brooklyn-born Fauci is chief medical advisor to President Joe Biden and, previously, served in that sort of role to many presidents. Including George W. Bush, who awarded Fauci the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

Throughout the grim and grinding early days of the pandemic, Fauci was a voice of reason and calm — but he never sugarcoated the magnitude of the threat we were all facing, either. In my family, Fauci is regarded as a modern-day saint. Because he is.

Doug Ford, John Horgan and Francois Legault, Premiers. None of them are perfect — Legault, in particular, is presently presiding over a racist purge of Muslims, Jews and others who wear religious symbols while employed by his xenophobic government — but these three political leaders became popular, and mostly stayed popular, by being human. Not by getting right every pandemic-related decision. But by showing their heart, and mourning the loss of every one of their citizens. They’ll all be handily re-elected as a result.

You folks. It’s been hard. It’s been gruelling. Job losses, depleted savings, shredded futures — but you are still here, fighting, and I (for one) am grateful that you are. We need you around, you know? So keep on that mask, get vaccinated, get your booster, and look out for each other.

Because, whether you realize it or not, you’re a winner in 2021, too.

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Pretend, for a moment, that you are a big wheel in the federal government. Prime Minister, even. Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada, too.

Pretend you are running a government that styles itself as feminist.

Would you then permit someone to run for you, as a candidate, who said he was looking for a girlfriend to do his “cleaning, folding, cooking?”

Your government proclaims it is anti-racist, too. Would you take that same candidate after he’d mocked the way Chinese-Canadians speak?

Your federal political party says it’s against homophobia and sexual assault, too. Would you accept that guy into your caucus, after he joked that men’s tennis “sounds exactly like gay porn?”

How about after learning that he would like to “accidentally sexually assault” someone? How about then?

You’d still take him? Okay, let’s say you are considering which MP to give a big raise and make the Parliamentary Secretary for Crown-Indigenous Relations. Would you hire that same guy, after he wrote that “every skinny aboriginal girl is on crystal meth?”

You wouldn’t, would you? No. No decent, sane person would. When a man makes that many racist, homophobic, misogynistic, anti-Indigenous remarks, you wouldn’t hire him for any task, would you?

But you’re not Justin Trudeau. And Justin Trudeau did indeed promote Jaime Battiste — the Liberal MP for Sydney-Victoria, N.S. — to what is a junior cabinet minister post. Gave him a big raise, too.

And made him one of the most powerful elected people in Ottawa — on the Indigenous file.

Now, governments don’t usually reveal themselves in grand, sweeping gestures. Sometimes they reveal themselves — their absence of a soul, say — in the little things. Like promoting someone like Jaime Battiste to help oversee Indigenous issues.

In a way, it isn’t really surprising.

I mean, this is the prime minister who solemnly promised to bring clean water to Indigenous reserves — and then just didn’t.

This is the prime minister who said he’d clean up the poison in the ground at places like Grassy Narrows — and then mocked a young woman who came to an exclusive Liberal event to talk to him about Grassy Narrows, telling her “thanks for your donation” as security men threw her out onto the sidewalk.

This is the prime minister who said he wanted a day for Truth and Reconciliation with Indigenous people — and then lied about where he was on that very day, and jetted out to B.C. to hang out in a millionaire’s mansion. On a beach where he likes to surf.

This is the prime minister who pushed his minister of justice and attorney general to stop the prosecution of one of his party donors — a donor who was facing corruption charges on a massive scale.

And then, when that minister — a proud and respected Indigenous leader named Jody Wilson-Raybould — refused to obstruct justice, he kicked her out of the Liberal Party. And when another respected female cabinet minister named Jane Philpott spoke up to defend Wilson-Raybould, he kicked her out, too.

That’s who this prime minister is. That’s who he is, in his soul. In his essence.

A man who claims to be a feminist, but isn’t. A man who professes to oppose all racism and homophobia, but doesn’t. A man who says he wants reconciliation with Indigenous people — but will never attain it.

In his words and his deeds, we all know who Justin Trudeau is.

He’s the prime minister who recruited, and promoted, Jaime Battiste — a jerk, a creep, who says that “every skinny aboriginal girl is on crystal meth.”

That’s who Justin Trudeau really is.

No pretending.

— Warren Kinsella was a Ministerial Representative on Indigenous files across Canada under Jean Chretien, Paul Martin and Stephen Harper

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The CBC has gone insane. Truly.

Check this out.

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