Musings —05.09.2012 03:36 PM—
It is one of the best ten albums ever made, and the song itself ends the darkest Against Me! record. Regular reader Chris pointed me to the lyrics which I have heard, and thought about, many times:
But you knew all along,
went on pretending nothing was wrong,
you said I will keep my focus, till the end.
And in the journal you kept,
by the side of your bed.
You wrote nightly in aspiration,
of developing as an author.
Confessing childhood secrets,
of dressing up in women’s clothes,
Compulsions you never knew the reasons to,
Will everyone, you ever meet or love,
be just relationship based on a false presumption?
Despite everyone, you ever meet or love,
in the end, will you be all alone?
A few years back, I interviewed Tom Gabel at the Phoenix before a show. He and other AM members were battling colds. I remember two questions distinctly. I asked him if he’d rather do something else. “Yes,” he said, right away. “Write novels.”
And I asked him who Searching For A Former Clarity was about. He shook his head, holding a bottle full of chicken soup. “I’d rather not say. Sorry.”
Was it about him? We may never know. Either way, it’s trite, but I hope she has clarity now.