06.08.2010 09:31 AM

An ode to Lawrence Cannon: Fake lake take

Harper’s take: for your sake, brake the fake lake quake, or I’ll bake a cake for your wake.

24 Comments


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    bc says:

    Sloppy journalism, once again…

    The “fake lake” costs $57k, not $1.9 million as reported yesterday.


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      Matt says:

      A fake lake for only $57,000! That’s a steal! The Conservatives should be heralded for getting the taxpayers such a wonderful bargain!


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        Ronald O'Dowd says:

        Matt,

        I wish some of my Conservative friends had given me an early heads-up on this. Had I only known, I could have placed an early rush order for doofus suits for the Canadian contingent! Opps, sorry, wrong summit. What was I thinking? Must be that constant reflection off the pool…


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      Scott Tribe says:

      Right, as that would justify building it bc, when Lake Ontario is a mile away. Actually, the lake portion supposedly costs 57K, while the rest of the media centre takes up the remainder of the 1.9 million$ to build and tear down. That said, if this fake lake thing is a 10cm deep pool, couldn’t they have gone to Walmart and gotten it for 49$?

      What I really like today though is Greg Weston coming out and finding out the Conservatives have spent 207 thousand bucks on a bunch of solar lights (and a “living wall” that passes as their environmental G8 project that they cant give a cost on yet).


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      Michael Watkins says:

      The fake lake no way no how costs a mere 57K. That might be for the waterproof liner and installation alone. Done any reno or construction work? There’s probably 5 grand in cedar alone for the deck. thousands in lighting. gosh knows how much for the “art”. Add the etceteras and the labour and you’ve got a number which is going to be far more than 57K. Do anything indoors at a big convention centre and costs automagically go higher than doing it in your back yard.

      It’s a distraction to be sure, but emblematic of the entire G8-G20 lake of waste. We should not be spending a billion plus on meetings which last just a few days. That’s not “conservative” management of the taxpayers dollars and such profligate waste, with so little return, isn’t something we Canadians like to see, in particular when the government is going to start slashing programs and spending in areas that do touch ordinary Canadians every day.

      Harper, Mulroney, same old debt story.


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    Matt says:

    The unpredictability of politics, eh? One day, people are saying “27% in the polls is the end of the world” and “7% behind the government on a couple EKOS polls means the end is near!” I’d love for Warren to go back through his archives and/or use his research skills to find out what the polls looked like between 1990 and 1993 on a week to week or month to month basis. I assume there was a time when Mr. Chretien polled behind Mulroney and then Kim Campbell. Ought we to have considered fundamentally changing our party at that time, simply because of the media was saying the Liberals had no chance? Politics is cyclical. Harper will fall at some point. Of that there is no doubt. Our goal ought to be to help him fall and then to present a credible, strong, disciplined, innovative alternative – one that occupies the centre of the political spectrum. I’m not sure why the pro-merger types are no afraid of trying to do that. It’s really unfortunate that we have such incredibly weak caucus discipline.


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      Warren says:

      So are you on a Feschuk-Reid retainer, or are you working on an hourly basis?


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        Ronald O'Dowd says:

        Warren,

        You know I’m getting the usual zip for my two cents worth. Just for the record!


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    e says:

    the conservative spin is now that they are only spending 57K on the Lakefake; they are spending $2 million to show off Lakefake

    so we ask, which is worse: $2 million to show off a fake lake, or $2million for a fake lake. either way, we are out $2 million for junk


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    Sandra says:

    Well, it took long enough for the Harper gang to say it was only $57,000) – what took them so long? Did they juggle some books or something. The could have stated this right away – as if saying only $57,000 makes it better.


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    Christian says:

    I think Matt is trapped by nostalgia. Problem is the context and times have changed alot since 1993. But he is right about the party building itself as a credible alternative and in my mind that means telling the story of the Party, building the narrative. After watching paul Martin on CBC last night and in light of the Con govt’s ongoing fiscal incompetence the way to do it is tell the story about the Liberal Party’s solid fiscal record. Something like this:

    “Liberals came to power in 93 when the country was nearly bankrupted by the Conservatives, Liberals fixed the deficit, reduced the debt, created numerous surpluses and cut taxes. The Cons came in 2006 with a $13 billion surplus and through ongoing fiscal mismanagement, the latest example being the $1.2 billion G8 & 20 boondoggle have left Canada in deficit yet again. Tories are incompetent with finances vote for us the Party with a solid record of prudent fiscal responsibility”.

    There you go Warren, take it, its yours free of charge. Pretty it up anyway you want, add, subtract details to suit the daily context use examples like the fake lake to back it up but thats the guts of the message that Ignatieff and the Party have to be saying repeatedly all day everyday in the House, to the media at public functions, in their sleep. Build the narrative and go from there. Anyway, just my 2 cents you’re probably onto this already.

    Cheers!


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    Ted says:

    I’ll see your Ode and raise you a one billion dollar song:

    If I Had A Billion Dollars

    If I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you a summit – I would buy you a summit
    And if I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    I’d buy you a photo op for your summit – maybe a nice landscape or a waterfront
    And if I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you a steamboat – a nice old fixer-upper
    And if I had a billion dollars I’d buy your vote.

    If I had a billion dollars
    I’d build a gazebo in our yard
    If I had a billion dollars
    You could help, it wouldn’t be that hard
    If I had a billion dollars
    Maybe we could put like a $200,000 toilet in there somewhere.

    If I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you a Muskoka lake – but not a real Muskoka lake, that’s cruel
    And if I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d shut down a city – yep, like a Toronto or a Huntsville
    And if I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you Lyin’ Bryan’s remains – ooh, all them crazy jowel bones
    And if I had a billion dollars I’d buy your vote.

    If I had a billion dollars
    We wouldn’t have to walk to the store
    If I had a billion dollars
    We’d take a limousine ’cause it costs more
    If I had a billion dollars
    We wouldn’t have to eat Kraft Dinner
    [Ed note: really, what would you change in that verse? It’s perfect as is.]

    If I had a billion dollars – If I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you a sidewalk – but not a real sidewalk going somewhere, that’s cruel
    And if I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you some vid – a Sony or a Jumbo
    If I had a billion dollars – if I had a billion dollars
    Well, I’d buy you a monkey – I have so many monkeys to spare
    If I had a billion dollars I’d buy your vote.

    If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars
    If I had a billion dollars, if I had a billion dollars
    If I had a billion dollars left, we’d be rich.


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      Warren says:

      I always said you were the poetic type, Betts!


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        e says:

        someone get the barenakedladies on retainer… that is a good campaign spot


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          Ted says:

          I did send it to Steve Page and asked him to do a youtube video of it. So we’ll see.


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            abe says:

            brilliant


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    allegra fortissima says:

    “But as they sailed he fell asleep; and there came down a storm of wind on the lake and they were filled with water and were in jeopardy.” Bible quote

    C’mon folks, don’t be so niggardly. $933 million here, $160million there, bring in another $57k – who cares? “Peanuts” as top banker Josef Ackermann would say!


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    bc says:

    Never meant to suggest that 57k was an acceptable amount to spend on a fake lake, but I think most people would agree that it’s far less than 1.9 million, and suggests that a days worth of terrible rhyming and alliteration in the house was wasted…


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      Jan says:

      bc, the $57,000 ( if it is to believed) is for the water feature only. Knowing the Cons it doesn’t include installation, removal or other assorted costs related to it. But the ‘lake’ is only part of the whole Golden Pond mock up.


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    Michael Watkins says:

    I’ll add another to the ode-ious list, to the tune of the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald (sorry Gordon Lightfoot!)

    The legend lives on from Ottawa on down
    Of the Fake Lake they call Harper’s Folly
    The lake, it is said, never gives up her dead
    When the eyes of electors turn gloomy.

    With a load of bull manure – 26,000 tons more
    Than the Conservative caucus weighed empty
    John Baird it is true has a bone to be chewed
    When the cries of opposition come early.

    The Conservatives are the pride of the Republican side
    Takin’ cues from angry old guys in Washington
    As the big parties go it was bigger than most
    With a crew the Captain keeps silenced.

    Concluding some terms with a couple of display firms
    Lawrence Cannon day dreamed of Lake Nipissing
    And later that night when the CP wire rang
    Could it be the issue they’d been fearing?

    The copy on the wires made a tattletale sound
    And the story sent everyone wailin’
    And every MP knew, as the Captain did, too,
    T’was the waste of G20 come ricocheting.

    The dawn came late and the coffee had to wait
    When the scrums of journos came hounding
    When Question Period came it was really quite plain
    That the spin they’d used wasn’t working.

    When supper time came Tony Clement came on screen
    Saying fellows it’s too rough to shield ya
    At 7PM Senator Duffy weighed in
    He said fellas it’s been good to know ya.

    Full lyrics:
    http://mikewatkins.ca/2010/06/08/the-wreck-of-the-conservative-party/


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      Ted says:

      OK, now that is pure genius. My weak effort is kindergarten stuff to this Ph.D.


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        Ted says:

        Actually, having now read the full thing at your website, more than genius.

        Excerpt:
        “Concluding some terms with a couple of display firms
        Lawrence Cannon day dreamed of Lake Nipissing
        And later that night when the CP wire rang
        Could it be the issue they’d been fearing?

        The copy on the wires made a tattletale sound
        And the story sent everyone wailin’
        And every MP knew, as the Captain did, too,
        T’was the waste of G20 come ricocheting.

        The dawn came late and the coffee had to wait
        When the scrums of journos came hounding
        When Question Period came it was really quite plain
        That the spin they’d used wasn’t working.

        When supper time came Tony Clement came on screen
        Saying fellows it’s too rough to shield ya
        At 7PM Senator Duffy weighed in
        He said fellas it’s been good to know ya.”

        Read the whole thing folks.


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    E Ingrim says:

    THE HARPER

    Harper! Harper! burning bright
    Taxpayers dollars in the night,
    What incompetent hand or eye
    Could frame thy wasteful Summitry?

    In what fake lakes or skies
    Burnt the taxes in thine eyes?
    On what advice did taxes fly?
    Harper! Harper! Are you high?

    On who’s shoulder, & what partner
    Bought out the sinews of thy heart?
    And when thy idea began to beat,
    Who’s dread hand? & who’s dread feet?

    What the hammer? what the chain?
    In what furnace was thy brain?
    What the anvil? what dread grasp
    Dare its deadly terrors clasp?

    When the people threw their spears,
    Watered fake lake with their tears,
    Did he smile his work to see?
    Did he who made the AG make thee?

    Harper! Harper! burning bright
    Taxpayers dollars in the night,
    What incompetent hand or eye
    Could frame thy wasteful Summitry?

    —–
    with abject apologies to William Blake The Tyger 1794


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    Michael S says:

    The Captain wired in he had Karl Rove coming in
    The fake lake imperiled the Tories
    And later that night when his support dropped out of sight
    Came the wreck of the Conservative Party.

    Does anyone know where the love of Guergis goes
    When her hubby hangs out with busty hookers
    The pundits all say she’d have made election day
    If she’d just put more judgment behind her.

    They might have stood ground or they might have prorogued
    They may have sent for Mulroney
    And all that remains are the empties and the trays
    Of the big party they called G20.

    !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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