Musings —02.10.2017 09:31 AM—
[From next week’s column. The scene: the Oval Office. Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump have just completed their photo-op in the Rose Garden. Gerald Butts and Steve Bannon are present to take notes.]
Trump [Dismissive]: So the Brits cancelled my state visit over there. Would’ve been huge. Huge. When is Canada inviting me to speak to your House of Representatives, up there?
Trudeau [Long, long pause. Trudeau and Butts start eyeing the exits]: Mr. President, with the greatest of respect, Canadians were quite fond of your predecessor, and before there is a visit, we think they need more time to get to know you…
Trump [Unimpressed]: How long?
Trudeau [Looking like he’d rather be somewhere else, balancing babies or boxing, or taking a selfie with someone – anyone. His shoulders drop. He gives up.] Sir, you should not come to Canada. We think it is a bad idea. We think all 35 million Canadians will come out to protest. Even the babies. In winter.
Trump [Unfazed]: Thirty-five million? That’s how many we had at my inauguration, didn’t we, Steve?
Bannon: Yes, sir! Absolutely, sir. [Bannon examines his limited edition Ku Klux Klan watch.] Sir, it’s bedtime. Shall I ask Kellyanne to tuck you in again, sir?