09.12.2017 07:47 AM

Life, er, comes at you fast

[H/T Parker Molloy.]

Also, the staffer in charge of Ted’s social media has resigned to take a new, er, position.



  1. Kevin T. says:

    Ironically, this will probably finally get him that much-sought appreciative pat on the head from Comrade President.

  2. Kelly says:

    Well, now we know which “position” he supports.

  3. crabby says:

    Cruz’s outspokenly anti-Cruz college roommate, the screenwriter and director Craig Mazin, clearly has his own ideas of Cruz’s opinions about his stance on stimulating one’s genitals for nonmedical purposes. This is his currently pinned tweet:

    Ted Cruz thinks people don’t have a right to “stimulate their genitals.” I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

    — Craig Mazin (@clmazin) April 13, 2016

  4. Ray says:

    “L(a)yin’ Ted” just took on a whole new meaning.

  5. Richard says:

    While America paused to remember 9/11, Ted Cruz fancied a wank.

  6. Charlie says:

    I just saw this and laughed for a solid 5 minutes.

    I love Twitter.

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