, 07.21.2021 02:21 PM

My latest: at it ain’t no, Joe

Dear Joe:

You don’t mind if I call you Joe, do you? I mean, I know you’re president of the United States and all, but I feel like we’re close.

Joe, you seem to have forgotten that I worked for you, for months. Even though I was way up here in Trudeaustan, unable to cross the border, I volunteered for you.

I was with you when you were seeking the Democratic presidential nomination, Joe, and everyone except me said you were going to lose. I worked for you when you defied all the nay-sayers, and won the nomination.

For months, Joe, I worked the phones for you. From my little farmhouse up here in Prince Edward County, I’d call voters all over the States for you. New Hampshire to Florida to California, and myriad points in between. I’d call, Joe. For you, big guy.

Did the voter need a ride to a polling station? Did they get the advance voting package from the town clerk’s office? Did they double-envelope it, and sign it, and mail it back? Were there any questions I could answer?

Hundreds and hundreds of calls, Joe. I did that for you. Because I have believed in you way back to 2008, when that young senator from Chicago picked you to be his running mate.

I have never doubted you, Joe — partly because you so reminded me of my former boss, Jean Chretien. But that’s a column for another day.

Anyway, Joe, since you became president, I’ve been good. I didn’t complain too much when you killed the Keystone pipeline, even though your country and mine both need it.

I didn’t gripe when you wouldn’t let COVID vaccines be shipped from America to Canada (we got a lot of ours from Europe and India).

But the border thing, Joe. I can’t let that one go.

This week, our toy prime minister announced that Canada would be welcoming fully vaccinated Americans starting Aug. 9. You? You sent out your press secretary to sniff that you wouldn’t do likewise. Said she: “I wouldn’t look at it through reciprocal intention.”

Seriously, Joe? Reciprocal intention? I mean, is reciprocal even a word? (It is, Kinsella. – Ed.)

OK, it may be a word, but it’s no way to treat your best friend and ally. We’re letting your fully-vaxxed folks in: why can’t you let in ours?

It’s not fair. It’s not scientific. Most problematic of all: it’s put me in a situation where I have to say something nice about Justin Trudeau and something critical about Joe Biden! (Told you, Kinsella. — Ed.)

Joe, your fellow Democrats in Congress want you to let us Trudeaupians in. So do Democratic governors and state legislators. So do chambers of commerce. So does everyone down there, with the possible exception of the GOP, which is as good a reason as any to let us in.

Look, Joe, we know you have a political problem. The Mexicans want the border reopened, too. But your predecessor, the Mango Mussolini, made the U.S.-Mexico border a hot topic. We get it.

So open it just to us, Joe. You have nothing to fear from Canadians. Even our hockey teams can’t beat yours.

I worked for you, Joe. I shed blood, sweat and tears for you. I believe in you, Joe.

But I need you to open up the border to us, big guy. If not for Justin, then for me.

I’ve got a Red Sox game at Fenway to get to, Joe, and I’m counting on you. Don’t let me down.

Yours faithfully, your humble volunteer,



  1. david says:

    Our hockey teams can’t beat theirs. Ouch:(

    • The Doctor says:

      I’ve never understood why people go on about this. Lots of US-based teams have tons of Canadian players. Lots of Canadian-based teams are full of non-Canadian players.

      By all means, it makes patriotic sense to cheer for Team Canada at the Olympics, World Championships, World Juniors, etc. And to really really care about that. But I don’t understand why anybody cares about this “Canadian team” thing when in terms of roster composition, a US-based opponent often actually has more Canadians on it than a Canadian-based team.

  2. Bill malcolm says:

    Aww. That’s too bad. How ungrateful.

    Of course, the USA does have rules about foreign nationals and any US public election.


    Here’s just one thing which you cannot do as a foreign national:

    “Making any contribution or donation of money or other thing of value, or making any expenditure, independent expenditure, or disbursement in connection with any federal, state or local election in the United States;”

    So one hopes your phone work was valueless by the definitions of the US Act.

    • Ronald O'Dowd says:


      You’ve no doubt heard of nudge, nudge, wink, wink?Foreigners have been transparently active in American elections for countless decades. The fact that Warren did not venture on U.S. soil this time, likely means no violation.

  3. Martin says:

    Why Joe public rolls his or her eyes when a politician gets on the air and defends a decision by saying science is being relied on. In this case, one set of politicians are lying or one set of scientists don’t really have a clue or are just lazy. I am going with a combination of all three. I have a place 45 minutes south of Buffalo that I could get to by flying from Toronto by helicopter which is idiotic. The border should either be closed to all travel or it shouldn’t. But I digress.

  4. Phil in London says:

    The child-man on record as saying “Science is so Sciency” has never been very good at listening to experts who tell him something he doesn’t want to hear.

    The truth Canada is opening it’s border to US double vaxxed persons because well “voters are so voted”. If he can get a few tourism industry votes in his unecessary election what would Trudeau care that the nation south of us has rising infections?

    The border closed under joint agreement with a like minded narcissistic leader in the US and it appears the clown prince has decided to ignore unity with our neighbours under an ideological like minded leader.

    When the USA makes it’s now independent decision to open their land borders to us I am sure the liberals will gush with how effective their diplomacy has been notwithstanding any surge in infections here due to falsified vaccine documented tourists.

    Full disclosure I am all for a very much less locked down economy than most, I have a problem with this unilateral declaration – this seems something akin to a Randy Hillier attitude about things they don’t like.

    The liberals have flaunted science on little items like duration between vaccines, mix and matching and AstraZeneca for second doses, I stand by it the border opening appears to them to be so votey

  5. The Doctor says:

    But we allow foreign-based lobby groups to pour all kinds of money etc. into here and influence public polidy.

  6. Patrick van Kessel says:

    He’s opening doors to fully vaccinated people because that’s the route to opening the society – have to be fully vaccinated, and everything I have read indicates fully vaccinated people don;t get sick – areas where infection increases are always related to groups that haven’t vaccinated. If it was a consumption strategy denying the severity of infection and disease they lied, so how about a consumption strategy that tells the truth so they’ll get fucking vaccinated and we can all go back to work and life and normal society – rather than let it fester in pockets of the population, mutate and start another round of pandemic – get vaccinated or deny your friends and neighbours a path to work and income and normal functioning society.

  7. Ronald O'Dowd says:

    Yeah, and my now deceased relatives voted in every Canadian election federal or provincial even though most of them were not duals. In short, almost all of them on my mother’s side were American citizens. Mom was only Canadian and two of five were duals.

  8. Ronald O'Dowd says:


    It’s simple. Joe is a politician first and a human being second. Just like 99% of ’em…remember all those delightful musings in the campaign about maybe not running for a second term? Exactly. Highly typical politician. At least he’s not a proud piece of shit like the other guy. Can I follow the family principle and illegally vote for him in 2024? Apparently not. Too bad that.

  9. Ronald O'Dowd says:

    And then there’s this: Chinese will not cooperate with the 2nd phase of the WHO investigation. Imagine that.

  10. Ronald O'Dowd says:

    Here’s Ron’s news flash: doubly vaccinated since Sunday. No way in hell will I ever remove the mask in public, not use hand sanitizer or fail to social distance, period. It ain’t gone from this planet so forget about returning to normal.

    Like I said before: hundreds of genetically modified variants with the best yet to come, you know, those that’ll have 80-90 percent mortality rates even among those already doubly vaccinated. See all of you in the funny papers!

    At least Biden and the Japanese PM told China it’s war if they attack Taiwan so it’s on hold, FOR NOW.

  11. Martin says:

    Coyne is a tad late to the party.


    As others have explained on this site, it is basically a binary choice. He abandoned the Tories in 2015. So, by definition he helped put JT in power. Anyone with an IQ above room temperature knew how that would turn out. At least the ideologues he refers to have an excuse, JT is their guy. Coyne has none.

    • The Doctor says:

      A couple of days prior to that piece, Coyne wrote a piece that was quite critical of the Conservatives. I think there are a lot of people out there like Coyne right now, especially centrist Blue Liberal/Red Tory types, who are not happy with the choices on hand.

      • Ronald O'Dowd says:


        As I’ve said ad nauseam, I supported MacKay but am entirely comfortable with O’Toole. You see, I well remember how Harper grew by leaps and bounds in his opposition leader job and when he became Prime Minister he was by then a far cry from the initially timid, reserved and uncomfortable Stephen Harper. He did it and so can Erin. Except O’Toole does not have the luxury of several years: he has to outperform and do it within the difficult time frame of an election campaign. I think Erin can do it, but I don’t KNOW that he can do it. Only O’Toole knows the answer to that. And I’m about as Red Tory as they come.

  12. With less than half of Americans vaccinated, and the virus reportedly “spiralling out of control”, perhaps the focus should be on keeping the border closed.

    • PhilinLondon says:

      I am not one for fear but I tend to agree, you don’t need to open a border and risk bringing more cases in. However those vaccinated pose little risk unless a new variant develops in the southern confederacy.

  13. Ronald O'Dowd says:

    Have I got this right? The land border is closed but there are some flights coming in from the U.S.?

    • PhilinLonodn says:

      I may be wrong but I don’t think international flights from the US ever stopped? That’s how our snowbirds got south last year.

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