The Evil Empire.

Yes, that’s what we called it. Back before the dawn of time, you see, I was chief of staff to a federal cabinet minister. The minister had multiple responsibilities. In private sector terms, he ran the biggest corporation in Canada.

Among his responsibilities was Canada Post. Or, as my colleagues called it, The Evil Empire.

All of the departments, agencies and Crown corporations overseen by the minister had their own unique problems. But none so much as Canada Post.

One day, and not long after we had won election, I went to see the “CEO” of the “corporation.” He received me in his office, which was the size of Prince Edward Island and had a grand view of Parliament Hill and the Gatineau Hills and beyond.

He offered me tickets to one of the corporate boxes that Canada Post maintained across the country. I demurred.

He confirmed, in a roundabout way, that Canada Post gave its upper management golf club memberships, health club memberships and even offered them exclusive use of an executive car wash, downstairs.

He told me I should have driven over, so I could have had my car washed! Ha ha.

I told the “CEO” that I was before him, respectfully, to address two issues. One, their penchant for spending millions on advertising. Two, the fact Canada Post no longer flew the Maple Leaf flag at post offices in the province of Quebec.

“We do not understand why you spend so much on advertising,” I said. “You’re a monopoly. Why do you need to advertise? It is a waste of taxpayers’ money, sir.”

There ensued a bushel of bafflegab about competitive position, branding, blah blah blah. Conversation turned to the absence of Canadian flags at Quebec post offices. Here, the “CEO” of the “corporation” was more direct.

“The prime minister made a commitment during the election to start flying the flag again,” I said. “He would like you to do so, please.”

The “CEO” said doing so “may inflame passions” in Quebec. He actually said that — “inflame passions.”

“Sir, we have a mandate from the Canadian people, including in Quebec,” I said. “The prime minister wants this policy reversed.”

The “CEO” refused.

Eventually, he relented, and Canada did not break up as a result. But my long-ago discussion with the “CEO” of the “corporation” was illustrative last week.

At the time of year when Canadians rely on the postal service the most, Canada Post announced it was dramatically hiking the price of a single stamp, from 63 cents to 85 cents. Oh, and it was eliminating home mail delivery for millions of Canadians.

The reason? Pensions, apparently. The Globe and Mail revealed that Canada Post’s car-washing management had provided gold-plated pensions for mailpersons at the bargaining table. And now it can’t afford to pay. Solution? Eliminate the mailperson.

With the House of Commons having been abruptly shut down early, finding a rationale for this insanity proved elusive.

The minister responsible issued a terse statement, but gave no interviews. Ditto the prime minister. Some hardy Conservatives, however, offered up a few talking points in support of their ritual mass political suicide. These are listed below.

One, two-thirds of Canadians don’t get home delivery anymore. Why should that last one-third? We think everyone deserves to pay more and get less!

Two, the postal service can’t afford to provide postal services anymore. And those many years where we were reporting that we were doing well? Er, never mind. Now we’re doing poorly.

Three, no one will care, no one will notice. And your disabled, 90-year-old grandma, who can barely get to the front door, let alone a “community mailbox” several blocks away? Well, she needs the exercise.

If the Harper folks had sent me a letter, I would have sent one back.

This is what I would’ve said: “Don’t trust the Evil Empire.”

And, P.S. “You’ve just lost the next election.”

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SFH and a ton of other bands – plus our newest members, Steve Deceive and Royal Niblit!

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Wynne has this incongruity I like: she smiles a lot and is friendly, but she is absolutely brutal when fat-cats start getting reckless with taxpayer-subsidized expense accounts.  It’s like a bureaucratic Game of Thrones, and she’s the one swinging the axe. Voters like that.

It’s not necessarily a theme to carry her through an entire election campaign, but it’s better than what she’s got right now.

 

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My, my.  You wouldn’t suppose the timing has anything to do with the ongoing Senate scandal, would you? No, of course not.

The decade-plus-long delay makes this a joke.  If a trial ever takes place, I’ll be amazed.

 

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Political courage, someone once said, is not political suicide.

Noble sentiment, I guess, but it’s also worth knowing that the author of the statement was Arnold Schwarzenegger (not Camus, who provided the inspiration for this post’s title).  Arnold, of course, would subsequently go on to commit political suicide.

I thought of The Arnold’s little maxim, this morning, as I read Adrian Morrow’s bit in the Globe:

“Kathleen Wynne will fight the next election over a promise to raise taxes to build transit, staking her premiership on the belief voters will accept short-term pain to finally break the gridlock crippling Southern Ontario.

The move, which the Premier acknowledged is a risky one, would allow her to solve one of the province’s largest and most persistent problems, as well as form the basis for a strong legacy.“

Telling Ontarians “vote for me so I can raise your taxes” doesn’t seem, on the surface, to be a sure-fire winning strategy.  The last guy to do similarly was Stephane Dion.  Here’s what I wrote about his Green Shift before, during and after the 2008 election:

“Stephane Dion was a decent, good man, but he possessed one critical flaw: For anglophones, he was too hard to understand. When proposing a “green shift” that would see gas prices go up — during a summer when voters were already paying nearly $1.50 a litre — that failure to communicate would prove fatal.

Meanwhile, his attempt to forge a coalition government with Jack Layton and Gilles Duceppe looked like a gaggle of losers trying to overturn the election result of 2008. The damage to the Liberal brand would be significant.“

Wynne is a great communicator, and she isn’t (yet) proposing a coalition with anyone.  But, per Stein, a tax is a tax is a tax.  It’s not a “revenue tool” – it’s a tax.

If that is indeed the Ontario Liberal ballot question, they will get a few editorials praising them for their courage (like Dion did).  But they will still lose (like Dion did).

Tim Hudak is against every and any taxes, because he is against government.  Voters haven’t taken him seriously, to date, and I don’t expect them to in the future.  I’ve met him once or twice, and find him to be a nice fellow.  But, on TV, he turns into the GOP talking points bot.  He won’t win.

Andrea Horwath, meanwhile, has been campaigning for a while, and her focus is pocketbook stuff.  She’s a New Democrat in the Roy Romanow tradition: balanced budgets where feasible, centrist policy, and no new taxes.  That’s what she’ll say in the election, too: we think you pay enough.  Transit is a problem, but a party that wastes billions at Ornge and OPG shouldn’t come to taxpayers, hand out, demanding billions more.

It’s good to be principled and honest and forthright.  But your principles don’t mean much when you are the third party in the legislature.

If today’s Globe story is true, that – I fear – is where the politically-courageous Ontario Liberals are heading.

 

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You’re welcome.

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Text exchange between Son One and me. We Kinsellas are unimpressed by movie stars.

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I’m not kidding, either.

If this extraordinary story isn’t an Onion-like bit of satire – and I checked, it doesn’t seem to be – the Harper guys are done like dinner.  Dead.

Justin, here are your talking points:

“No wonder they were eager to shut down the House early. If elected, I will stop this.  Vote for me, and I will force Canada Post to keep delivering your mail.”

 

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Good pick.  And here and here and here are some reasons why.

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