In Sunday’s Sun: the case against the NRA, terrorist organization

Good morning, Your Honour.
 
We appear before you this morning to argue for the proposition that the defendant, the National Rifle Association of America, hereafter referred to as the NRA, is properly classified as a terrorist organization.  And, accordingly, that the NRA’s directors and officers have been engaged in a campaign of terror against civilian populations.
 
Our indictment of the NRA, as you know, arises out of section 802 of the USA Patriot Act, No. 107-52, which has expanded the definition of terrorism to cover “domestic,” as opposed to international, terrorism.  Therein, the Patriot Act, which was overwhelmingly supported and passed by all parties in Congress, sets out that a person has engaged in domestic terrorism if they do something that is “dangerous to human life,” which the NRA has in fact done since the earliest days of its 1871 charter in New York State.  
 
To be successful in prosecuting a crime under the Patriot Act, it must be shown that the NRA, one, intimidated or coerced the civilian population – which they have done, ceaselessly, for generations.  Two, that they have influenced the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion – which they have done, with armies of millionaire gun lobbyists, threatening elected representatives with defeat and disgrace if they do not do the NRA’s bidding.  And, three, most crucially, we must show that the NRA has attempted to affect the conduct of our government by “mass destruction, assassination or kidnapping.”
 
We cannot state for a fact, Your Honour, that the NRA has actively engaged in assassinations or kidnappings. They have certainly attempted to kidnap and murder democracy.  
 
We can state, however, that the NRA will be shown to have energetically advocated mass destruction, even in the wake of the killings of 20 innocents – mainly children – before Christmas in Newtown.  Their most recent advertising campaign, which offers up the president’s own children as rhetorical fodder, is ample evidence of the NRA’s willingness – like any terrorist organization – to terrorize children, and parents, to achieve their political goals.
 
The political goals of the NRA are simple, Your Honour.  While the NRA repeatedly claims that it seeks to protect the Second Amendment to the Constitution –  and said Amendment states that “a well regulated militia [is]necessary to the security of a free state.”  We take the view that the NRA and its cohorts have willfully twisted the meaning of “a well-regulated militia” to mean the sale of assault weapons, with high-capacity ammunition clips, to the mentally ill.
 
We also take the view that, at the time Thomas Jefferson and other founders ratified the Second Amendment, they did not intend it to be applied to the mass murder of five-year-olds, using assault weapons.
 
We are aware that the definition of terrorism is broad, Your Honour, and that there is a robust debate about when it applies.  But under section 802 of the Act, we remind you that this court need only find that the NRA has – within the territorial confines of the United States – engaged in a campaign of intimidation of coercion of our government, and our citizens.  You  need only find that the NRA seeks to affect the conduct of government by advocating “mass destruction.”
 
Lobbying for guns in schools is that, Your Honour.  So is threatening members of Congress into lifting the ban on assault weapons. So is helping teenagers to purchase AK-47 assault weapons at gun shows.  So is calling law enforcement “jack-booted government thugs.”  So is suggesting the President of the United States facilitates murder.  So, most of all, is assassinating minimal efforts to prevent something like Newtown from every happening again.
 
All these things the NRA has done, Your Honour.  All of these acts of intimidation and coercion are not dissimilar to the campaigns of the Taliban or al-Qaeda.  
 
They may wear expensive suits, Your Honour, but the NRA is not much different from the terrorists.
 
They deserve to be treated as such by this court.
 


Coaches

I’m not one of those parents who yells at my kids’ hockey games. It’s supposed to be for fun. None of the kids – none of them – are ever going to play in the NHL. So I generally keep quiet, unless I see a child get hurt.

One of my sons has a coach who sends lengthy, preachy emails, talking about “respect” for the coach. Then, at games, the boys get sworn and yelled at. By the coach.

The other son is a goalie. He gets scored on and gets pulled, instantly. The other goalie gets scored on as much (or more, as today) and stays in.

The worst part about kids’ hockey is never, ever the kids.

It’s the grown-ups.


Turn Those Clapping Hands Into Angry Balled Fists

Sleep on pillows made in Singapore
Wrapped in comforters
Sweating through sheets
Drinking coffee in the morning
Floating on Airplanes across the vast seas

And your house is made of wood
Central air, central heat
You got your furniture of particle board
Your doors are locked for, for safety

And you walk in leather shoes
Pants of denim, a black cotton sweatshirt
And you do what you do
because doing can start to form a habit

And you drink all night long
And you sleep through the morning
And if something doesn’t break
I’m just gonna go, go fucking insane

And you sweep up the floor when it’s dirty
You do the dishes, when the sink’s full
And when the refrigerator’s empty
well it’s time, it’s time, it’s time, it’s time to go the store

You put your books on a shelf
Clothes arranged in the closet
You hang the things on the wall that you don’t wanna be so easily forgotten

I hate these songs
I hate the words
That the singer is singing to me
I hate this melody
I hate this stupid fucking drum beat

But I’m not gonna tell anyone
What I’m really thinking about
Keep them conversations on the surface
Just keep on smiling
Just keep on saying
Everything’s gonna be alright
It’s gonna be alright [x2]
Alright [x11]


We get letters

From “John Hanus,” whose name is perhaps unfairly misinterpreted as “Anus.”

From: Johnmarymac@rogers.com
Subject: Your time has come
Date: Fri, 18 Jan 2013 08:50:47 -0500
To: Warren.Kinsella@sunmedia.ca

You will be exposed…GOOD BYE KINSELLA…YOU FUCKED UP…and we’re pissed off.


Stupidity watch: “Controversial reporter”

So says the Office of the Prime Minister of Canada about Stephen Maher.

Words do not fully express how breathtakingly stupid this is. Stupider than a box of hair. Stupider than a sack of hammers. Stupider than a coat of second paint. Stupider than rice. Stupider than spit. Stupider than Sarah Palin and Dubya.

Actually, I take that back. Even Palin and Dubya wouldn’t have done something like this.

Maher, meanwhile, has just become even more popular than he was before. A raise is in order too, I think.


Not a joke

The ad you may have heard about, and possibly seen.  First reaction: whoever did this was drunk, or on drugs, or both.

I’ll have plenty to say about the NRA and their acolytes in the Sun papers on Sunday.  They won’t like it.


That was then, this is now

Toronto Star, January 17:

Liberal leadership front-runner Kathleen Wynne is rejecting Tory speculation that she would formally join forces to govern with the New Democrats if chosen premier at a party convention this month.

I have not talked about a coalition,” Wynne said after a luncheon speech to the Toronto Board of Trade…

Toronto Star, January 16:

Kathleen Wynne, a front-runner to succeed Liberal Premier Dalton McGuinty, and NDP Leader Andrea Horwath are willing to work together to avert an election.

Wynne, who is in a tight leadership race with former Windsor West MPP Sandra Pupatello, said she would co-operate with Horwath or Progressive Conservative Leader Tim Hudak.

Toronto Star, January 15:

Star: NDP leader Andrea Horwath said Tuesday that she would be open to collaboration with the next Liberal leader. Would you entertain a formalcoalition with the NDP?

Wynne: I will be reaching out to both Tim (Hudak) and Andrea (Horwath). I want the opportunity to talk to both of them. And not in a one-off, take-it-or-leave-it way, but I want to figure out how we’re going to do this, how we’re going to establish a relationship. Whichever or both of them are willing to have that conversation, I’m willing to work with them. I don’t know the level of formality. That has to come out of those conversations.