03.02.2012 07:49 AM

Die, Starbucks, die

The “baristas” at my nearest Starbucks are so friggin’ fake-cheery, I want to punch them in the face.

Who’s with me?  This guy is!


Click on the image and watch!

19 Comments

  1. CarpetKicker says:

    Starbucks baristas are the spawn of black cats, you are doomed.

  2. James Bow says:

    Don’t blame them. It’s the coffee dust.

  3. Chris Burton says:

    Don’t blame the baristas! Blame the “Ludovico Technique” corporate training program…

  4. Jon Powers says:

    I always ask for a “large” or a “medium”. I refuse to say “grande” or “venti”. When they correct me, I tell them that I don’t speak Starbucks. Does that make me a bigot?

  5. Lance says:

    Right jab. And they’re slower than molasses.

  6. Harith says:

    Your own fault for going to Starbucks.

  7. Ted H says:

    Check out “Foamy the Squirrel” at “Ill Will Press”, there is a great cartoon where Foamy interacts with a barista who is just as you describe.

  8. Dave Wells says:

    I like to call it “aggressive hospitality”.

  9. Susan says:

    Warren, that is not very kind-hearted. They serve the public and have to put up with a lot like some individuals who refuse to use Starbucks ‘language’ (which makes service faster by the way) and then complain about slow service. This is how they are trained. And, better to be greeted with cheeriness than someone who is grumpy and wants to ruin your day. Again, this is how they are trained. Instead of getting mad, why not respond cheerily and maybe make their day?

    Some are students and are trying to cope with studying and a part-time job, maybe more than part-time to get through university or maybe even save for university. Others might even work more than one job to just get by and feed themselves and their families. You never know.

    I think we should give them a break and be kind.

    • Warren says:

      I’m joking, for Chrissakes.

    • Derek Pearce says:

      I’m never rude to the staff, god knows I’ve worked plenty of customer service jobs in my day so I empathize, but blaming the customer for slow service since they refuse to use a made-up bs corporate language doesn’t fly.

  10. Dan says:

    Hahaha “They say tall to make them feel good about paying $3 for a urine sized cup of coffee”

  11. Marc L says:

    Last time I was in TO, I asked the “Barista” at the Starbucks at the Eaton Centre for an espresso. One shot. That’s all I wanted. She pulls the shot. No crema at all. I mention it to her. She did not appear to understand what the problem was. So much for Starbucks “baristas”.

  12. Philippe says:

    The chicks are super hot at mine, so I cut’em some slack.

  13. GToronto says:

    Warren, I know you’re kidding, but I used to think like that, but ever since my son and his friends started working in neighbourhood fast food joints, I’ve mellowed out. It’s hard to get curmudeony at kids you’ve Cut birthday cake for.

  14. Kevin says:

    Never been into a Starbucks personally. Don’t drink the stuff. But I have to give them A+++ for their community involvement. In my spare time (??) I work with a local charity in the field of adult and family literacy. Starbucks encourages their staff to volunteer for us, and they PAY US $10.00 for each hour one of their staff volunteers. Also, they support all of our fundraisers, even helping organize some of them. One store will challenge all the other Starbucks locations to field teams for our events, to compete for who/which store can raise the most in pledges, and they come out in droves to participate in the event. I love Starbucks.

    But if anyone came at me with a pasted-on smile, they’d get pasted-on right back at them.

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