Musings —05.31.2011 06:25 AM—
It’s true. Did you know the New Democrats have been calling themselves “new” for half a century? In the U.S., they might get jail time for that whopper. Down there, the Federal Trade Commission won’t let you call something “new” for more than six months. It’s against the law.
Also acceptable: “New, Young, and Strikingly Handsome With A Thick Head of Hair Warren.” If you’re 50-plus (or even less!), add the prefix “New” to your own name. It won’t be the least bit accurate, but perhaps it’ll make you feel better about yourself.