Dear God

Dear God:

So, there I was, heading to work out at the little gym in my condo building, and one of the concierge people – the nice one, the only one I like – approached me.  He told me there had been a “complaint” about me.

I listened.

I don’t want to give away the ending, Almighty Person, but this is one of those times that I am pleading with You (begging, actually) that the complaint goes ahead.  Please, God. Please.

I don’t know if it will.  The fact that I burst out laughing, and insisted that the Nice Concierge take all of my contact information so that the complainants may more readily find me, may have suggested to him that further official action is inadvisable at this time.  You already know what will happen, natch, but you aren’t talking.

Being my Creator, you also know that I live for moments like this. You made me, after all: you know that I regard peacetime as indescribably dull.  As one of my lawyer friends (whose identity you know) explained to another lawyer friend (ditto) one night:  “Warren doesn’t sue because his feelings are hurt.  He doesn’t have feelings.  He sues because he enjoys it. It’s his entertainment.”*

But I digress, Lord.  This is all I am asking for, Yahweh.  Please give me this, just this, and I’ll be super-good, and for the foreseeable future, too.  Or next month, whichever comes first.

Yours faithfully,

Warren

* Okay, fine, it was BFF Brian Shiller talking to BFF David Shiller.  Way to wreck part of the story. W/e.


Politics be damned, Timmy! We’ll rescue you if you get lost in the storm!

Ontario PC Leader Tim Hudak to Make an Important Election Announcement

For immediate release:

Ontario PC Leader Tim Hudak will hold a media availability and photo opportunity for an important election announcement.

Who:              Tim Hudak, Ontario PC Leader
Date:              Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Time:              Media availability and photo opportunity:  10:00 AM
Location:        Queen’s Park, South entrance on the lawn

***

SW Ontario bracing for Blizzocaplypse Now

Wiarton Willy may have trouble seeing his shadow tomorrow as southwestern Ontario braces for Blizzocalypse — a storm Environment Canada has called “dangerous” with near blizzard-like conditions and heavy snowfall.

At 11 a.m. Monday, the weather office issued a winter storm warning cautioning that between 20-30 centimetres of snow was expected to fall between Tuesday and Wednesday afternoons, with the possibility of winds gusting up to 60 km-h.

“This storm has the potential to create near-paralyzing conditions,” the notice read. “Environment Canada continues to monitor this dangerous winter storm.”


In today’s Sun: awash in election speculation

Out of the pool, kids!

Look, I’m sorry to be a party pooper and all that, but I just don’t see this spring election thing. In fact, I’m not even sure there will be one this year.

I know, I know, the Parliamentary Press Gallery are all frolicking in the pool, dreams of overtime dancing in their heads – and the politicians are all warily eyeing the horizon, fretting about bad weather, wondering when they should head back into the House to start packing. When Official Ottawa decides something, it’s decided, right?


The latest, greatest political meme

A couple weeks ago, it was “ethical oil.” Oh my! The punditocracy loved that one. You couldn’t get into the parking lot at Tim Horton’s (another popular meme) without hearing all about “ethical oil.” It was everywhere, that one.  Democratic deficit, the angry vote, the West wants in, blah blah blah.

Now, the latest political equivalent of the pet rock: “only fifteen per cent of Canadians pay attention to politics.”

Really? Is that so? How does one measure that, pray tell? If the pollsters define “paying attention” as eating, breathing and sleeping Tony Clement’s tweets, and being positively breathless about every idiotic thing that Official Ottawa says or does, well – I guess – the number of those who “pay attention” would indeed be rather small. Sure.

But what of the millions of Canadians who vote in elections? What about them? Is the pollster saying the sixty per cent who regularly show up to vote are sleepwalking? That they are heading to polling stations to merely socialize?

Or, maybe – just maybe – this is a way for elitist snobs to publicize Plato’s Protogaras, and insinuate that they think voters are dumb, because the dummies don’t pay as much attention to Question Period as pollsters do. Or the media. Or shut-ins.  And, ipso facto, they are therefore not worthy of a vote.

If you ask me, and perhaps a pollster will one day, I think voters are pretty smart. And they see quite enough coming out of Ottawa, every day, to form a rather accurate assessment.

To suggest that only fifteen per cent of them “pay attention” is pure snobbery, or worse.


Good morning, Prime Minister! Our new ads are being received very well!

  • Vancouver Sun: The ads are “totally dishonest…These latest ads show that Conservatives are willing to do whatever it takes, to stoop to the very depths, to damage the prospects of the Liberal leader. There is no fairness and no integrity whatever to these ads.”
  • The Canadian Press: “ADS SPARK BACKLASH…entirely out of context…Carleton University communications professor Josh Greenberg said the latest Tory ads are “insulting to the intelligence.” Political ads are notorious for taking opponents’ words out of context but he said he’s never seen anything quite so blatant.”
  • The Globe and Mail: “Would Tories use an Ignatieff clip out of context?  Yes! Yes! Yes!”

A Liberal on being liberal (updated twice, and moved up)

“A dream was instilled in me eight years ago. Today, Prime Minister Brian Mulroney’s constitutional “accord” threatens to destroy that dream.

I was a cocky 17-year-old on my way to Maple Leaf Gardens for the first time in my life. I wasn’t going to see the Maple Leafs or even Elton John. Along with thousands of others, I came to see and hear Pierre Elliot Trudeau.

I was spellbound.

Never before and never since have I been so moved by a speech. Unlike so many speeches, this one radiated from a central vision.

Trudeau’s vision of Canada was of a tolerant, multicultural polity where minority rights throughout the country would be protected and enhanced by a strong central government. It was of a mixed economy in which the critical components should be kept Canadian. And it was of a social system that would not allow the workings of the market to degrade human dignity.

Giant strides were taken toward achieving that vision. On the social front, progressive legislation was passed; economically, the Foreign Investment Review Agency and the National Energy Program were put in place to protect and enhance Canada’s position; and politically, the Constitution was patriated and an entrenched Bill of Rights produced.

All these fronts have been attacked and eroded by the Mulroney government – social programs have been cut in the name of reducing deficits, and the dream of a distinct Canadian economy is fading daily as the Tories pursue their “free” trade leap of faith.

But no action strikes a greater blow to the Trudeau vision than the present constitutional accord. As Deborah Coyne of the University of Toronto’s faculty of law points out, the accord represents a “disturbing abdication of federal power to the regions . . . at a time when we have more need than ever for strong national leadership in order to meet the unprecedented challenges that we face today.”

Who will speak for Canada?”

UPDATE: Now that we have hit about 100 comments on this one, I can reveal my ulterior motive: my interest isn’t what was said, so much, as who said it – and what you Conservatives out there would have to say about the points made therein.  Both are quite interesting, and quite helpful.  All will be revealed soon.

UPDATED TWO DAYS LATER: The author of those statements from May 1987, statements which are to the left of quite a few Liberals – eg., FIRA and NEP are good, free trade is bad – is none other than Rocco Rossi. Quite a few Conservative commenters, not knowing who I was quoting, heaped scorn on what Rossi wrote.  So what, you say?

Well, both things are worth noting because, at tonight’s Toronto mayoralty-candidate “harmony” fundraiser, Rocco Rossi is apparently going to be wheeled around by Conservative operatives as a convert to their cause.  The author of those far-centre-left statements, we’re to be told, is a Conservative, now.  From a Trudeau Liberal to a Randy Hillier cheerleader, just like that: kind of takes your breath away, doesn’t it?

He’s Benedict Baldy, someone said to me today.  It fits.

Partly, that makes me mad at myself – for trusting him, for believing him when he said he believes in the same things I do, and for devoting billable time (and vacation time with my kids, even) to following him in an erratic, bizarre campaign that ended in the single digits.  (Bocce balls: remember that?  He thought that, and the Conservatives who thought it up, were brilliant.) I wouldn’t have helped him, not for a moment, if I had known what Rocco is now seemingly capable of.

Partly, it makes me mad at him, of course.  When you read the words above, and you try to picture him as a Conservative, you wonder if Rocco believes in anything, other than his own ambition.  When you read the words of the Conservatives who commented on Rocco’s previous views – on NEP, free trade and so on – you also wonder how they will ever truly accept him as one of their own.  Rest assured: they won’t. The Conservatives I know, and like, have principles.

Either way, it doesn’t matter.  The Ipsos released last night makes clear that Rocco Rossi has just launched his second losing campaign.

This time, I’ll be laughing my ass off.

…not really.


New Reformatory ads

Seen their latest?

What to do?  Well, for one thing, I doubt they’re intended for broadcast, as they’d never pass the advertising standards stage. But if I’m wrong, and if they show up anywhere on-air, I’d just have Ignatieff say the following, over and over, from coast to coast:

“Stephen Harper is a liar.  He is a liar.”

That’s it.

At that point, the Cons have three options.  One, they can sue, but Ignatieff would win; truth is a defence. Two, they can stick with ads that are utter bullshit, and consider the prospect of their leader being branded a liar.  Or, three, they can pull the ads, and live to fight another day.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.  Wow.