Advance look at next week’s Trudeau Trump summit

— 02.10.2017 09:31 AM

[From next week’s column. The scene: the Oval Office. Justin Trudeau and Donald Trump have just completed their photo-op in the Rose Garden. Gerald Butts and Steve Bannon are present to take notes.]

Trump [Dismissive]: So the Brits cancelled my state visit over there. Would’ve been huge. Huge. When is Canada inviting me to speak to your House of Representatives, up there?

Trudeau [Long, long pause. Trudeau and Butts start eyeing the exits]: Mr. President, with the greatest of respect, Canadians were quite fond of your predecessor, and before there is a visit, we think they need more time to get to know you…

Trump [Unimpressed]: How long?

Trudeau [Looking like he’d rather be somewhere else, balancing babies or boxing, or taking a selfie with someone – anyone. His shoulders drop. He gives up.] Sir, you should not come to Canada. We think it is a bad idea. We think all 35 million Canadians will come out to protest. Even the babies. In winter.

Trump [Unfazed]: Thirty-five million? That’s how many we had at my inauguration, didn’t we, Steve?

Bannon: Yes, sir! Absolutely, sir. [Bannon examines his limited edition Ku Klux Klan watch.] Sir, it’s bedtime. Shall I ask Kellyanne to tuck you in again, sir?


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Trump TV times: terrific

— 02.10.2017 08:56 AM

I was on TV three times yesterday, which was a bit weird. The first time was over at CTV News, to talk about the top Trudeau ministers heading to Washington to, in effect, walk softly and carry a bigly stick. The government was finally heeding Canadians – and those of us – who wanted to see them get tougher with the Unpresident.

After that, I headed over to CITY-TV, this time without Doug Ford. In one hit, we talked about the wonderful, brilliant, perfect Ninth Circuit decision, which – as I put it – helped to hoist Trump and his G.O.P. supplicants on their own petard(s). 

Trump thought he could attack judges, and get away with it. Wrong.

Trump thought he could just sign President Bannon’s Muslim Ban executive order, and no court could question him. Wrong.

Trump thought he could say all manner of hateful, bigoted things about Muslims, and get away with it.  Wrong.

And the lickspittles in the G.O.P. thought they could stop President Obama from appointing someone to the U.S. Supreme Court, and there’d be no blowback on them. Wrong.

If the USSC splits along ideological lines, the Ninth Circuit’s decision holds. Trump, and the G.O.P. loses.

The third CITY-TV hit, however, was the most fun. It was about how Trump’s fart-catcher, Sean Spicer, is even worse that the fabled Baghdad Bob. The clip is here. (I’ve tried to embed it, but the weird coding sends the video off to the side, or makes it full screen. Sorry. If you know how to fix it, Team Propellerhead, let me know.)

What a glorious, glorious day dawned today. As such, I am wearing this.


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Hey, Donald? You want access to what I say?

— 02.08.2017 12:14 PM

Apparently:

People who want to visit the United States could be asked to hand over their social-media passwords to officials as part of enhanced security checks, the country’s top domestic security chief said.

Homeland Security Secretary John Kelly told Congress on Tuesday the measure was one of several being considered to vet refugees and visa applicants from seven Muslim-majority countries.

“We want to get on their social media, with passwords: What do you do, what do you say?” he told the House Homeland Security Committee. “If they don’t want to cooperate then you don’t come in.”

Well, how’s this: in the event I go back to the U.S. anytime soon, you’re welcome to go through all of my musings on Facebook, Twitter and this wee web site.  All of it. Knock yourself out. Because what I say privately is what I say publicly: you are a racist, sexist, fascistic creep.

P.S. Barring me would send my billable rate through the roof, by the way.  Want a percentage?


Comments (8)

Great White North

— 02.08.2017 08:49 AM

…which is the working title of my next book, by the by.

Anyway.  To get your morning off on a thoroughly depressing note, read this:

Almost a third of Canadians said the government should discriminate against Muslims when selecting foreigners to move to the country, and a third want to discriminate against people of colour to prioritize white immigrants. More than 65 per cent think immigrants have a responsibility to behave “more like Canadians.”

“Whatever is driving Canada’s exceptionally positive history of immigration … it does not appear to be an exceptionally tolerant public,” the study read.

The poll is here. Don’t want to say “I told you so,” but I told you so, here and here and here.

What does it all mean? It means:

  • Trump and Brexit, racist and bigoted though they may be, were not outliers or flukes
  • Leitch and O’Leary are cynical and despicable, but they’re not stupid
  • Trudeau and most Premiers are to be applauded for their courage and integrity – but all of them should keep an eye trained on the political rear-view mirror

Why is all this happening?  Well, (a) war and poverty and climate change are displacing people around the world (b) which has led to a massive influx of refugees and migrants in developed countries (c) whose pink-skinned citizens are reacting to globalization and joblessness by blaming the newcomers with brown skin, when the blame actually belongs to microchips and their own lack of job skills.

But I could be wrong about all that.  What I’m not wrong about is this:

The Beast is awake, and he is among us again.


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